"As a doubles team, they had all the tools. During the course of the year, they won almost 30
times. They were chosen to be one of 16 doubles teams to participate in the national Division III championships.
We were thrilled.
The team did everything we could to prepare them. But it was the end of a long season. They were moving into final exams. They were nicked up physically and emotionally. Every day we’d come out and practice and they’d practice worse than the day before.
I went home and told my wife, who was nine months pregnant, “Don’t worry, if they play like they’ve been practicing, it’s going to be a short trip.”
After our last practice, and we talked about what our goals would be. Winning was the furthest thing from our minds. They suggested going back to the core values of our program: 1. The choice to give your best effort. 2. The choice to be positive. 3. The highest standard of sportsmanship. And they committed to being grateful.
We flew to North Carolina. In our first match, we came out and played a little bit better than in practice, but still not their best. But they had smiles on their faces, and they were cracking jokes. They were committed to not being defined by the results. They kept plugging away.
And they managed to win.
They created something I have never forgotten and that they will never forget.
Tommy Valentini ’02
Now they’re in the quarterfinals. We played a great team, but one of their two players had played two tough three-set singles matches and could barely walk. We jumped them early—and advanced to the national semis.
The next match, we found ourselves down 5-3 in the first set. We wiggled out of it, came back to win the set, and the match. I heard other coaches saying, “I’m going to make our doubles teams look just like these guys.”
They were so loose, so free. They were committed to letting go of the result.
In the semifinals they managed to win again. Bang! We’re in the national championship match! We went from struggling mightily to playing for all the marbles in a week’s time!
Our opponents in the final had two senior All-Americans. We were not favored to win. We showed up, stuck to our routine, and had the exact same conversation: “Live the Three Crowns. Have fun. Let go. Be grateful.”
They went out and played the perfect match. It’s still one of the best Division III college tennis matches I’ve ever seen.
We were up a set and 5-3, one game away from the title. We ran a perfect play to get to 30-40. Match point for the national championship. Amrik was returning. The lefthander on the add side had been going to Amrik’s backhand all day, but he hammered up the T to Amrik’s forehand.
Amrik did what I dreamed he would do. He let go. He swung as hard as he could, almost out of his shoes, exactly how you have to go after it in the big moments. He hit the return back harder than the serve.
And the ball went one inch over the doubles side line.
We lost that game, and the second set. Then we were down 3-0 in the third. They fought, scratched, clawed, did everything possible.
And we lost 6-3.
When the match was over I knelt down with them. We were all a bit teary. I told them I was proud of them for letting go, for living out their values on the biggest stage, for not being defined by the result. They made their experience in sport matter because they were able to be free, to be okay with who they were, to be themselves. They didn’t need to win to prove anything to anybody, to be valued.
If we can do that with sport, maybe we can do that in life, and then we give sport a purpose. And now these “dumb games” aren’t just dumb games anymore.
They can help teach us to let go.